What a decent bloke!

Last Day

Yesterday was my last day as an employee of the Board of Youth & Children’s Ministry in the Presbyterian Church in Ireland! I had been on a 3-year externally funded contract and despite various efforts over the last year or so, no further funding was secured. I left with mixed emotions – a certain amount of frustration that the funding couldn’t get sorted to continue the work I’ve been doing and sadness to be leaving my colleagues for whom I have a lot of respect for their dedication, devotion and faithfulness to young people in PCI but also gratitude for how good the last 3 years have been. It’s been a great role, when I started I was lacking a little bit of confidence owing to some previous experiences but the job allowed me to find my feet in youth work again and I’ve learnt so much, particularly about community relations work and peacebuilding – it’s been a personal as well as professional journey of growth and development. I’ve had the opportunity to work with some fantastic people and it’s been energising to work with young people in a variety of projects and spheres. My highlights would include meeting Mary McAleese, President of Ireland, in February ’07, attending the Summer Peacebuilding Institute in Virginia, USA in May ’07, running the PYP programme with a group of young people at the Vine Centre, being involved in the SPUD youth assembly, a day on site building with Habitat for Humanity, training youth leaders and taking them on Field Trips to Stroke City meeting local guides from both sides of the community, leading the Adventure Camps, the project in Tullycarnet last summer…man, there’s been a lot of good stuff!

My colleagues were very generous in their gifts including these 2 books which look great on my coffee-table and I’m going to enjoy delving into them regularly!


It’s all still a little surreal, I don’t think it’s sunk in yet that I’ve left – I haven’t quite got my head round it all, but the lie-in this morning was very welcome indeed. As for what’s next, well I’m not 100% sure just yet but there are a couple of possibilities in the pipeline so hopefully more on that at a later date.

I Miss Communism

A couple of weeks ago I took the opportunity to go to the theatre at the Island Arts Centre, Lisburn with a friend to see a show called I Miss Communism. I’m not often at the theatre and this doesn’t sound like your average production but it’s a funny and heartwarming one-woman show which I’d been wanting to see for a while because 3 years ago I met the actress herself through Couchsurfing! Ines had been performing her show as part of the Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival that year and had surfed my couch for a couple of nights. I didn’t get to see the show then but we seemed to click and stayed in touch. We managed to catch up very briefly in ’07 again whilst she was touring Ireland and the UK and then she got in touch last month when she reached Irish soil for another tour.

I’m really glad I’ve had the opportunity to see the show now, it is different and quirky, comical and touching. It’s amazing how one person can carry the audience’s attention for an entire hour and a quarter. Ines is off to spend some time in her native Croatia now but plans to return and should be touring Ireland again in the autumn, so if you get the chance, check it out.

The night after her performance in Lisburn, Ines and I got to hang out over good food (al fresco at Victoria Square with the good weather – even better!) and we also went to see Angels and Demons (Ewan McGregor’s accent was rather duff, but he played a great character. I couldn’t be bothered with the book but enjoyed the action as translated on the big screen and really liked the soundtrack - decent entertainment for a Friday night.)

Incidentally it’s International Couchsurfing Day this Friday. I haven’t received any couchsurfers in quite a while – I’m just not in the right place at the moment – but I definitely recommend it as a great way to meet people from all over the world and show that Irish hospitality hasn't totally gone away! Since I signed up 4 years ago I've met Virginie - a Quebecois, Ines the Croatian actress, Mirko - the chocolate-lover from Germany, Joanne & Lee from Australia, Anne - an American living in Seoul, Cate & Chris from Washington DC who came to Belfast just before Christmas '06 then returned the favour and hosted me when I was passing through their city 6 months later, Mike - a Canadian physiotherapist living in Germany, Ben the Aussie, Chris from Tasmania, Matyas from Hungary, Yorkshireman Pete, Wolf the German tree surgeon competing in the Irish Tree-climbing championships (really attractive bloke, but unfortunately very bad BO!), Anais the Parisian living in Berlin, Hisham from Egypt, Amanda, Brittany, Joanna and Andrea - all from the USA, Diego - the Italian chef who cooked me an amazing risotto, and finally Larry who hosted me in Phoenix, AZ, and Michal Lisa who let me stay for a whole 5 days in Flagstaff, AZ! Couchsurfing definitely makes the world feel a little bit smaller!

I'm loving that the Beeb is streaming the French Open live and I've been keeping an eye on matches from my desk when I get the chance. I couldn't believe Nadal went out yesterday but I figure it'll make him a better player, Soderling was playing out of his socks, it was phenomenal. The photo above is from one of Gael Monfils' matches last week, it's not the kind of pose you expect to get in a tennis match, pretty impressive!

Update: Monfils takes to the air again in another great photo on the official French Open website. And is it just me or does Juan Martin del Potro look a bit like the Karate Kid?

Heart of Darfur

The other night I finished reading Heart of Darfur by Lisa French Blaker, a nurse who works for Médecins sans Frontières. A gripping read yet beautifully written – moving, honest, heart-rending. Part of me almost felt guilty for taking pleasure in reading this book - almost as if I was benefitting from the suffering people are going through in this region, and I questioned why Blaker should gain as a writer out of her experience there. But she doesn't come across as the type who would do something just so she could write the book and ultimately it’s a story that needs to be heard, we need to know what is going on in Darfur. Like Blood River which I wrote about a few months ago, hope reveals itself in the humanity found in even the bleakest places. Blaker writes with wisdom:

Our drama in a small corner of Darfur was one of many, our needs and frustrations just part of living in a chaotic, mad world. But it gave my life meaning, to be part of a solution, no matter how small. Seeing the overwhelming needs and fears in the world we can all be excused for wanting to withdraw. When there is nothing you can do but watch the misery of others’ lives it is self-preservation to close your ears and eyes. I know because I have done it often. But stepping forward and participating, allowing yourself to feel and see and reach out, can cure apathy. It’s about being part of the chaos and refusing to accept all the madness. It comes down to choice.

Life on the Ocean Wave
Yesterday afternoon I got back from having spent the weekend sailing for the first time in my life as part of a project with the Ocean Youth Trust. It was brilliant! In partnership with Youth Link: NI, OYT has been running an OCN Level 3 course in Community Relations Programme Development and I’ve been one of the Tutor/Assessors. So this weekend I was assessing 2 youth leaders as they ran their programme with a group of young people.

OYT Ireland has a boat called Lord Rank which is based at Bangor Marina, it’s a 68ft yacht with berths for 18 people plus sea-staff. On Friday night w had safety briefs etc to do so we didn’t set sail until Saturday morning. We spent the day sailing around in Belfast Lough doing tacks and jibes etc. The weather was absolutely beautiful – blue skies, blue sea – great stuff! We got decent wind on Saturday and got up to about 9 knots, but on the Sunday the winds were very light so we took it easy and just enjoyed the scenery and being on the water.

I would definitely do sailing again though I’m nowhere near getting to grips with all the terminology, ropework etc. The sea staff are fantastic – very patient and good at explaining stuff…again and again! It was great getting the opportunity to be hands-on and do all sorts of tasks – winching, hoisting sails, pulling sails in, flaking sails (folding them so that they can be put to bed for the night etc), looking after fenders, bow-& stern-lines when coming into the pontoon etc. OYTI is a great organisation so if you’re a youth leader/worker I would definitely check them out. Sailing is a great teambuilding exercise for a group of young people and doing a programme in the outdoors like that has that extra something.

I was bushed when I got home yesterday and still had the sensation of being at sea, the room felt like it was gently rocking around me! But I feel re-energised having had a little adventure. A couple of weeks ago there had been some problems with the programme and we thought this weekend would be cancelled so I was feeling that what with my hip injury everything was working against me – no Scotland kayak trip, no Nepal trip, no sailing. But thankfully it worked out and I really enjoyed getting out on the water and feeling all that fresh air on my face! Doing the winches and hoisting the sails took more than just upper body movement – you end up putting your whole body into it, so my hip was a bit sore on Saturday night and last night but I think generally it’s beginning to improve. It’s definitely going to be a long and slow recovery but hopefully it will eventually be ok. It was just really good this weekend, and almost therapeutic, to feel a bit more active, do something outdoorsy and forget about everything for a bit.

Hip Jab
On Monday I had an ultrasound for my hip and the radiologist could immediately see the bursitis so gave me a steroid injection on the spot. It was a fairly big needle but although I could feel it going in the whole way, it wasn’t an overly painful experience. Apparently I need to rest as much as possible for the next week and should notice a real difference in the next 2-3 weeks. I spoke to my physio yesterday who told me that I could do upper body stuff at the gym, I’ve been pretty regular doing upper body & core stuff over the last few weeks so a week off will be good for the muscles and I’ll get back to upper body work next Monday. In 2 weeks I can introduce core exercises and then in 4 weeks I can introduce gentle exercise. It’s going to be a slow process but I’m hoping that I can be back to normal maybe by June/July. It’s pretty frustrating having not been able to be as physically active as I’d like since Christmas time and I do feel a bit sluggish, man I haven’t been in my kayak for over 3 months! The guys in the canoe club are away to Scotland today, I’d so love to have been going with them, but I hope they have a good time and that they get good water. I’m also supposed to be going to Nepal on a work trip in just over 4 weeks but the trip is under question as I don’t want to have to do too much walking too soon and undo the effects of the treatment. I’ll be really disappointed if I don’t get to go but I’d far rather have a hip 100% fit for the long-term. For the moment I have to content myself with resting which is a bit boring & I feel like a bit of a prat, but I’ve got work home with me and can lie on the sofa and patter away at the laptop.

In the midst of this I’m reminded that the LORD reigns:
The LORD rules over the floodwaters.
The LORD reigns as King forever.
The LORD gives his people strength.
The LORD blesses them with peace.
Psalm 29:10-11 (NLT)

…The LORD reigns over all – over my hip bursitis, future jobsearch challenges, the trials & tribulations of family relationships, the NI peace process, Darfur…the LORD reigns.

Church Leaders Ask Everyone To Work "Together For Good"

Having been employed in peace and reconciliation/community relations work over the last nearly 3 years has been a real education for me and whilst I still have a lot to learn, there have been some significant learning points on this journey so far. One of the things I’ve realised is that a peace agreement merely provides a platform for a journey towards reconciliation to take place. The peace process here in Northern Ireland is still very much a work-in-progress and sometimes it can be frustrating when I’ve been faced with apathy to peacebuilding or the kind of attitude that says, ‘sure, we’ve got peace now’. We’re still at the start of our journey to moving beyond conflict.

Reconciliation is also a journey that we must choose to enter into. Recently I heard a great talk by someone who has been involved in peacebilding projects here and overseas (available to download here) and one of the things he said was that peace is something which is found and people must journey together to find it. In other words peace cannot be limited to a strategy or policy or even a commitment but it takes a lot of work, a lot of energy, a lot of working together, a lot of time, a lot of invested relationships.

I’m glad this week that people have come together very quickly reacting against the violence and murders at the weekend and on Monday. I was at the Belfast vigil on Wednesday and could feel the strong sense of solidarity and also of horror at what has happened. We’ve been hurt right to the ‘quick’, the very thought of going back to the ‘bad old days’ has sent a real chill down our collective spine. Even hearing the helicopters hovering overhead was creepy. I guess during the Troubles, we got used to things, we got on with everyday life and tried to convince ourselves it was ‘normal’. But now we can look back and see that we have come a long way and that life now has been more normal than ever before. We don’t want to go back and must stay strong to a commitment to ensuring we don’t go back, we can’t afford to become apathetic to the horrors of the past.

When I started out in my current role at PCI I guess I though that peacebuilding was important but maybe something to be addressed only by those interested in it. Today as a youth worker, the bottom line for me is that youth work and youth ministry cannot take place in Northern Ireland without reference to issues around community relations, conflict, division, sectarianism. Even though many of today’s young people do not remember first-hand the conflict, I believe that they are having to carry the baggage of the past. They may not know what that baggage is, but their lives are dictated by the divisions in our society. I believe that if we don’t tackle these issues with our young people, then we’re failing them.

A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places
If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
make the community livable again. (Isaiah 58:9-12 The Message)

It’s time to rebuild, renovate, restore…

I knew it!

Online networking 'harms health'

Update: Good article here and interesting discussion in the comments. The debate continues!

Hip Update
I was back with the physio today and considering that there was no improvement whatsoever despite all efforts she decided that it was time to call in the big guns i.e. send me for an ultrasound and injection. A big part of me is glad that I've got this option and that it's something that can be effective and sort out the problem. But I'm going to be out of commission for at least another 5-6 weeks plus rehab time after that (the canoe club trip is definitely out the window). At the end of the day, it will be worth it although I'm concerned that the pain in my left is hip is not compensatory but that the bursitis is recurring in the left side (apparently things like this can just move from one side to the other for no apparent reason) and I guess I just have a fear that this will never get sorted and that I'll never be able to do all the active stuff I enjoy so much. I think I'm just trying to get my head round it all - I have to be positive, hopefully the end will be in sight.

Hip Report
Well last week I couldn’t feel any improvement in my hip, if anything it was getting worse and it was back to being painful when walking. I went back to the physio who figured that because I was being very diligent with doing all the exercises recommended to me by the podiatrist twice a day, I had actually tightened up. She recommended that I get a massage of my hamstrings, glutes & iliotibial band so I saw the masseuse that afternoon and I have to say that it was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced! I thought I had a fairly high pain threshold considering I let the physio walk on my back every so often, but that’s a walk in the park compared to this kind of massage – I still have the bruises to show for it! I managed not to yell/scream, but only just! (If you were listening to the Chris Moyles show on Radio 1 last Wednesday morning when they had a sports physio in doing some massage stuff, I could totally identify with their pain! There's a very funny video of it here.) Since the weekend I’ve noticed that my IT band feels a lot less tight when I’m using the foam roller which is good. Unfortunately my hip is still not right, in fact I’m getting pain in the other hip as well because it’s compensating for the injured leg. So now I have to sleep on my back because it’s sore if I sleep on either side! My physio has reminded me that bursitis is hard to get rid of, it takes time. If I lay on the flat of my back for a few weeks the inflammation would maybe go more quickly but that’s not exactly practical with the kind of job I have. I’ve reduced my cardio workouts at the gym to 5 minutes on the bike as a warm-up before doing some upper body stuff and a bit of core work because I’m worried that the cycling isn’t helping things. But I’m just so scunnered that I can’t do any of the things I enjoy – kayaking/hillwalking/cycling to work etc. My fitness is slipping – before Christmas my resting heart rate was 60 and at the weekend on the first aid course when we were practising taking pulses, it was up to 64. It’s so frustrating. What’s more it is very likely that I’ll have to miss the canoe club trip to Scotland in March which is absolutely gutting.

In the grand scheme of things, this is just a wee blip and I know that things could be a heck of a lot worse – wildfires are not ripping through my town at crazy speeds covering miles in a matter of minutes. There’s perspective…

Yet my frustration is real and I must find God in this. As I write I’m listening to Johnny Parks’ song God is still for us. Nothing can separate me from God’s love. He’s for me, not against me. The most important thing is that God is here, He’s with me in this…I must pursue Him in the midst of my pain and frustration. The other night I was reading Philippians 4:10-13, how Paul had found contentment in all things, whether lacking or in plenty. God’s strength is enough for me in this, it is sufficient when I am healthy and when I am injured, it is sufficient when I am in need or have plenty...Christ’s strength will see me through this and much more.

On Friday night I got the chance to watch In the Heat of the Night for the first time along with the other first aid course participants after our evening training session. I’d always heard great things about this film but never actually watched it. I was not disappointed, it’s definitely a classic. Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger are brilliant and I can’t think of a recent film which displays the level of tension that was so palpable in this film. Definitely worth checking out if you haven’t seen it already.

This weekend I’ve been on a first aid course at Tollymore Mountain Centre and had a really good time. I’m hoping to do the Mountain Leader training at some point this year and I also would like to do a kayak coaching award so this particular course is useful for all that kind of stuff especially as I haven’t done any first aid stuff since my teens. TMC is a great spot, really great facilities and excellent cooking (I might have to go on rations for a few days having had two cooked breakfasts this weekend!) and the forest was looking quite picturesque today with the snowfall this morning. The course was very good with a good balance between theoretical and practical stuff so we regularly got split into 3s to do practical scenarios – one person playing the role of the casualty, another the main first aider and the third person the assistant first aider. It’s pretty scary walking into an unknown situation with a casualty on the ground before you and I found it difficult to keep a clear head and remember all the protocols. I think it’s the kind of thing that the more you practice the better you get. I hope I never have to use it in real-life but I’m glad I’ve got some training under my belt now. There were 12 of us on the course and the craic was good. I had good fun pretending to be a ‘combative casualty’ giving dog’s abuse to my first aiders about the stick which had supposedly impaled my hand after a fall. The other participants were all outdoor enthusiasts from a variety of backgrounds. One of the guys whom I estimated to be in his 50s was an avid fell-runner who described a local 10 mile route as a nice ‘wee’ run and tried to get us to sign up for the next Mournes Seven Sevens (a walking and fell-running race taking in the 7 highest summits in the Mournes) event! I’d consider walking it but never running it!

Last Descents
I came across this video highlighted in an online paddling magazine, it's quality stuff. I've such good memories of my trip to China and in particular the trek my friend & I did through Tiger Leaping Gorge where we were able to look down on the mighty Yangtze River. I've often wondered what Tiger Leaping Gorge is like now. I've heard that there is a new road through the gorge so that coachloads of tourists can drive through. I guess it's nice that more people can marvel at the Gorge's beauties but to my mind it would spoil the tranquility and majesty of the surroundings. This video highlights the plight of the Yangtze and other rivers in China.

Changing times.


A River's Last Breath from Epicocity Project on Vimeo.

How To Do Just About Everything
I managed to get candle-wax on a fleece the other week and was a bit perplexed about how to get rid of it. A trusty Google search revealed the solution and opened up a whole new world to me – Ehow.com. It seems that it’s got the answer to just about everything and I’ve now got a 7-step guide to removing the offending candle-wax (all I need is my iron and a brown paper bag it seems). I decided to browse a little amongst the popular categories and have discovered that in order to attract a man all you need to do is, “walk with your head held high, talk convincingly, smile with glee, and greet with humility.” Moreover in order to be “irresistible” you are encouraged to “keep your eye out and when you see a bunch of people around one person, then watch their body language and what they are saying and keep mental notes and then go home and practice it yourself.” Well I truly feel I could become a whole new person now that this wondrous website is at my fingertips. You can even learn how to address a letter to Canada, how to avoid talking too much if you find out you do and how to avoid buying the worst electric shaver – well we'll all sleep better tonight folks!

From now on, beware if you see me holding my head high, talking convincingly, gleefully smiling and being humble in my greetings…gosh that’s going to keep me busy…and if I turn down a night out, it’s obviously because I’m practicing irresistible people’s body language…

...what on earth does it mean to greet with humility?!

I have to say that yesterday was pretty momentous. I’m not American and I don’t make it a habit to watch US Presidential inaugurations, but it was the kind of day that I think I will remember what I was doing and where I was in years to come. I didn’t get left work until 4.30pm, so listened to the commentary on Radio 4 on the bus journey home. I couldn’t help but smile broadly to myself at the moment Mr Obama was sworn in and as soon as I got in through the door I had the TV on and was glued to his acceptance speech. I welcomed his ‘let’s-get-down-to-business’ attitude and like Mark, felt a sense of hope. In a sense I think yesterday was a bit of a Kingdom happening. Regardless of what way Americans voted, red or blue or otherwise, you could say there was a Kingdom moment in the election of a black man to the US presidency when as referred to yesterday 60-odd years ago restaurants would have refused him service. May the Kingdom continue to come right across the world… And kudos to Rev Lowry for the benediction at the end!

Photo courtesy of the Independent

I finished Blood River at the weekend and it was a very good read – quite different to other books I’ve been reading of late and those I’ve mentioned here, but very good and well written. It charts the quest of a journalist, Tim Butcher, to retrace the footsteps of Henry Morton Stanley (of “Livingstone I presume?” fame) across the Congo in 2004, a quest most thought would be impossible given major infrastructural difficulties and the threat of attack from rebels. I’m not a history buff to be honest but Butcher’s ability to relate the history of the region kept me engaged, his commentary was insightful and perceptive – particularly in helping me understand more of what he calls ‘sovereignty-stripping’ in the wake of colonialism, and I truly admired his courage and perseverance. His journey definitely brings a whole new meaning to adventure travel. It’s quite a depressing book because it demonstrates just how bad things can get on planet earth and how terrible we humans can be. But it is the characters whom Butcher meets who truly bring this book to life. There are two very poignant moments recounted – one, when a man who helps Butcher as he tries to find passage on a boat down a particular part of the Congo River begs him to take his 4 year old son with him because he is desperate for his son to have a new life, and the other, when whilst travelling by motorbike through rainforest Butcher stumbles upon a railway sleeper completely overgrown by the forest growth. He describes it thus:

"It was a complete reversal of the normal pattern of human development. A place where a railway track had once carried trainloads of goods and people had been reclaimed by virgin forest, where the noisy huffing of steam engines had long since lost our to the jungle’s looking silence…I was travelling through a country with more past than future, a place where the hands of the clock spin not forwards, but backwards."

Hip Update
Well there’s definite improvement with my hip. I’ve seen a physio & a podiatrist and they’ve been really helpful. Already the exercises & stretches I’ve been set have made a big difference. I’ve been back to the gym 7 times in the last fortnight – using the stationary bike for 20 mins and doing my usual core/light weights/stretches routine for 40 mins. So that has restored my sanity and I don’t feel like I’m completely losing my fitness. I’ll not cycle to work for another week or so and I resisted the urge to go kayaking today – I just want to give my hip as much of a chance as possible to heal up. One of the exercises I’ve been given uses a foam roller – a fairly innocuous piece of kit, but believe me rolling up and down the illiotibial band (vocabulary expansion comes for free with injury) hurts like heck! I can just about manage 2 mins on each leg. I don’t know how the young blade in the picture above is managing to keep a smile on her face! Anyway, hopefully the improvement will continue. I’m not desperate to get back to running but it would be nice to be able to go for the odd run (emphasis on the word ‘odd’ big sis!) just for variety. Ultimately the important thing for me is to be able to go kayaking and hillwalking.

(Photo courtesy of The Loft Pilates Studio)

Well it seems that my recent running exploits have come back to bite me as I’ve hurt my hip. I’d felt some pain and stiffness after my first few runs which I just thought was muscular. But then last week I did the run I’d mentioned here (which turned out to be 4.5 miles) and the last ¾-mile I was really feeling the pain in my hip and realised that I’d done something. A good friend of mine who’s a physio has taken a look and diagnosed bursitis (inflammation of a fluid-filled sac near the joint) which can be treated but the bad news is she thinks I’ll have to rest it completely for 6 weeks i.e. no kayaking, cycling, walking, gym etc – ARGH! I’m a bit gutted to be honest as I don’t want to lose my fitness but hopefully it will work out for the long run as it is rather sore at the moment and I want it to get fully healed. And at the end of the day it could be a heck of a lot worse so I just have to suck it up, possibly God is reminding me that being fit isn’t the be-all and end-all, though it does make me feel good! Bummer!

Longing for something more

(Warning, this might be a bit on the long side, but hey, it’s not often I get deep and philosophical on this blog so make the most of it!)

For the last number of years Christmas time has been a time when I’ve taken the ‘Bah humbug’ attitude. I get fed up with the commercialism & materialism, the rushing around, the pressure for it to be a ‘special’ time of year etc and I guess my strategy has been all about survival.

Psychologically it’s a time when we are all winding down – finally getting round to doing the filing we’ve been putting off for several months, getting bits and bobs tidied up at work so that when we go back in the New Year everything feels fresh and you can make a clean start.

Mark reflected a wee while back on how we seem to be so desperate for something that the Christmas anticipation starts ages back in October but he also makes the point that reaching the end of the year in itself is significant. And the reality is that everyone is dropping like flies with illness because we’re tired out and ready for a break and we’re all just hanging on by the skin of our teeth to get to the holidays to get switched off. (Unless you’re in retail of course and man I take my hat off to you, I couldn’t work the hours you guys work at this time of year!) Our body clocks seem to be tuned in to the calendar year and we’re glad for the chance to let it all hang out for a bit and get our batteries recharged so that we can get stuck into a New Year.

Mark’s post made me think though – if I’m honest I think I try to ignore Christmas because I’m disappointed that the magic isn’t real – presents won’t magically appear in my living room, fairies won’t flit about and do my dishes à la Disney's Sleeping Beauty, and the all-important snow only shows up in this part of the world once in a blue moon (and even when it does it tends to turn to grey slush fairly quickly). I think I’m maybe longing for something more…

Last week at the PCI Church House Carol Service, one of the staff who is originally from Zimbabwe and has been living here for 4 years shared with us an email from some friends about what Christmas in Zimbabwe is like now. Zimbabwe has changed dramatically in the last few years, beyond recognition for my colleague if he was to go back. For the shops which are open there is hardly anything on the shelves, people are desperately trying to eke out a living. Christmas is Jesus because that’s pretty much all they have. They don’t know what’s going on, they don’t understand what God is doing, but they know and trust that God is at work. All they have is Christ and Christmas heralds the time of Emmanuel – God with us.

Hearing about Christmas from this totally different standpoint has helped me get things into perspective a little more. It’s nothing new that I’m longing for something more, it’s indicative of that inbuilt ‘God-shaped hole’. So I guess I want to make a conscious effort to be a blessing to the people around me this Christmas, it’s NOT about me or what I can get out of it. Though I know that I’ll fail miserably in places because I mess up, I’m wayward and I don’t like not getting my own way. But the something more has come into the world, something magical has happened and is happening.

So maybe it’s down to trust, and choice – I choose to believe in God’s goodness and justice and righteousness, I choose to follow him and walk in His ways, I choose to believe that good wins the day. This year, Christmas represents hope for me. Hope for the future. The world is a bleak place - I’ve just started reading Blood River and I’m being made aware afresh of the travesties which have occurred down through the centuries, what humans have done to humans and what humans still do to humans is truly horrendous – Lord have mercy on us! But there is hope, hope that we are not abandoned or left carry on in this quagmire by ourselves, but God is with us in the midst and depths of our grief and pain and loss. A new day is coming… This Christmas I will remember that God is with me and I get to be part of He’s doing in the world… and that is truly magical and wonderful.

David Stevens also provides a good thought for the season here.

The weekend before last I finished reading Bear Grylls’ book on his record-breaking climb to the top of Everest, Facing Up. I’ve been a fan of the Born Survivor series for a while so it was great to find out what he was like as a writer and I wasn’t disappointed, this is a great read. Neil has also written a great post about Bear and his achievements recently.

What I love about Bear Grylls is his youthful exuberance and constant positivity. He’s received a bit of a slagging here and there because when filming the Born Survivor series he doesn’t always sleep in the wild on every night of the experience particularly on the night before a particularly strenuous climb etc. I’d say he’ll always have a few critics of the programme – that it’s not a true wilderness experience etc – but then at the end of the day that’s not what the programme is about, it’s a demonstration of survival skills for the armchair viewer and to become proficient you really need to get out there and do a course or something. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Survivorman on the Discovery Channel, the guy in it, Les Stroud, really goes the whole hog – whereas Bear Grylls has a camera crew, this guy is the camera man and carries his camera equipment (or uses parts of it to make a fire) with him so that he can document his trip himself as he is left in the wild to just get on with it himself. It’s a good show but to be honest he comes across as one of the dourest people in the world and by the middle of the show you just feel like there is no joy in anything and you wonder why you would bother trying to survive anyway. Bear’s enthusiasm and love for life is in stark contrast and for me he ranks up there with the likes of Bruce Parry and Ray Mears, he’s got a different approach and different strengths to them but he makes a great contribution to TV.

The thing that has always come through in the TV shows is Bear’s faith and he’s openly said it’s not his crutch but that it’s his backbone. In one episode where he’s in the Ecuadorean rainforest he wakes up in the morning and spots a beautiful flower on it’s own in the tree canopy above him. He describes it as an example of the extravagance of God’s grace that He would place something so beautiful in a place no-one is likely to see.

Bear’s faith comes through even more strongly in this book – his appreciation of godly wisdom, he’s not afraid to ask others for help and for prayer, and he recognises the central place of prayer in his spiritual walk. He shares a letter from his grandfather who writes, “Keep on in there, your struggles are a triumph for guts and Godliness.” Bear responds, “The words guts and godliness struck me hard. It was all that I aspired to.” I find those words resonating within me too. The guy’s definitely got a lot of depth.

Incidentally Bear Grylls is just back from a fundraising adventure to Antarctica where he got injured kite-skiing (as you do!).

Despite the chilly weather of late I’ve enjoyed getting out the last 4 Saturdays in a row with the canoe club. The first Saturday I’ve already mentioned here and the second Saturday was a similar day to the first as we took the open boats out again, except this time for a run down the Bann from Laurencetown to Gilford. We regretted not having cameras with us as there were some gems of picture-perfect moments with the fog clinging to the river and the fields covered in white frost. Gilford Gun Club were also out that day, but thankfully saw us coming and stopped to let us through!

Yesterday we were on the Bann again in our whitewater kayaks and we ran it from Banbridge down to Gilford, a bit of a longer run than usual as none of us were pushed for time. It was pretty low unfortunately so a bit scrappy in places but enough to play in others. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I usually would, I was just a bit bushed yesterday, I think I’ve got to that stage where I’m really ready for the end of the year and a break.

But it was last week’s trip that really (literally!) floated my boat! We paddled the Shimna down through the Mournes & Tollymore Forest Park. It was a beautiful day. The first time I did this river back in June ’07 I wasn’t overly fond of it, I guess it was the first time I’d done a more creek-like river and I felt a bit claustrophobic, this time I knew what to expect.

Unfortunately within the first half hour I managed to swim 3 times. The water level was pretty low so it was easy to get beached on rocks and the first two swims weren’t exactly capsizes it was more that I got into fights with a rock – within 15 feet of the put-in and I panicked - and then a tree – and I felt it was just safer to get out of the boat. I really didn’t have my head in gear at the start, a bit jittery, and I think it was something akin to a lack of match-practice – the last time I did a river like this was the Glenarm just over a year ago and the rest of the time I’ve just been on the Bann or Blackwater – you get complacent. So it took me quite a while to relax and at one point Rodger, our coach, said to me that I wasn’t paddling I was just drifting and he was so right. I wasn’t attacking the drops enough, I was being too defensive. Once I started powering into things more I got on a lot better and really enjoyed the run.

The guys are great, so gracious. Sometimes I feel like I’m holding them back like at the start when I had those swims. But a few other folk had swims too and at the end of the day we all help each other out. They’re great guys to paddle with, the craic is good and to be honest I trust them with my life.

The Shimna is a beautiful river. They’ve cut a lot of the rhododendron back in the Forest Park and that has made a huge difference. It was incredible to look at where water has flowed in the past while, there is a serious amount of debris in the river at the moment, trees down and all that, so there were a couple of drops which we had to walk this time because of obstacles. There were even places where you could see where water has powered through sections maybe about 20-30+ feet above our heads, the power of nature is something else. I’m itching to get back on that river and attack it from the word go.

One of things Ruth & I did last week in Donegal was to climb Muckish – Donegal’s second highest mountain. When I say climb, well, we got most of the way! We got about three-quarters of the way up to the snow-line when Ruth felt she’d done quite well enough. I headed on up another wee bit for about 5 minutes leaving her with instructions to keep moving as it would have completely foundered ye (as they say in the country) and discovered that we had reached a false summit and there was probably one fairly more steep bit to go that would probably take at least another 20 minutes to get up. When I got back to Ruth she’d been busy taking some of the great photos below and we admired the wonderful scenery then slid & laughed most of the way down – it was rather wet and boggy! We’d parked the car on a dirt-track which got progressively boggier the further we went with more and more grass growing up the middle but on the way back to Rathmullan we noticed a road we’d missed previously which we have a feeling leads to a carpark and possibly a better/clearer route to the top. But sure, we had a good day out and some day I’ll go back and explore a bit more.

Errigal is mid-right in the picture.

The view towards Falcarragh.

After a wee picnic at the side of the road we did a little exploring round Fanad Head and I showed Ruth my favourite beach in Donegal and discovered that Ruth had sailed to this beach from the other side years ago with her family!

This is the beach at Rathmullan, I think it’s another one of my favourites now: